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Selected Musings

I knew this was going to be emotional, Holiday Season 2020 without Viki, and “celebrating” in isolation in the midst of a worsening pandemic.    Many suffering through what can fairly be called a cruel year. Lost loved ones, lost jobs, and lost sense of security [while some leaders in Washington have lost their minds].

The comfort of a close hug and simple unfettered interaction is what so many miss and I yearn for.    Perhaps the best Christmas 2020 gift is the development of vaccines now coming on-line.   Some call them a Christmas Miracle. (Shouldn't great science and tech appear that way?) Hang On Folks.

Thanksgiving: I expected the Holidays to be a bumpy time psychologically and I've had some out-of-the-ordinary experiences; mentations that slant towards the spiritual.   Mind Games?    While gathering some of Viki's clothing for donation I suddenly came across a small trove, a box containing sentimental items Viki saved for over 30 years.   It just seemed to pop out from nowhere.

Among the letters and cards, I could see a calendar with some annotated dates and a cassette tape labeled 'Viki and Ron 2/14/1988, NJ, IN, CA.'    Valentines was always a special time between us.   In less than ten seconds of scanning the contents I was emotionally hijacked and completely overwhelmed.   Not at all prepared for such a discovery and far from ready to read or to listen to any of those special items today.    I will someday.

Christmas Eve. While having a friendly (socially distanced) chat with my neighbor George, our attention was called to the far side of the lake. On the bank were a pair of Roseate Spoonbills. George remarked that this was the first time he's seen a Spoonbill on our lake. They are rare, and a protected species that nest in mangroves along the nearby Peace River. I haven't spotted a Roseate Spoonbill on our lake in maybe 15 years!

Their sighting felt extra special today. Roseate Spoonbills were Viki's absolute favorite bird.   The pair hung around our lake for just one afternoon- Christmas Eve.    If I were a Native American, Medicine-Man or other Enlightened Soul I might have seen, known, {sooner} those Spoonbills were some form of comforting manifestation maybe {likely} a brief Christmas Eve visit by Spirit-Viki and her feathered companion Soul Guide.    Simulacrum ?    What the bleep do I know?

Christmas Day. I thought about yesterday's Spoonbill appearance as a special Christmas gift and it brought an inner smile and a little fortitude.    Christmas Day afternoon, I carefully loaded the Viki and Ron 1988 cassette tape and pressed PLAY.
What peeled off the speakers transported me back nearly 33 years.   The cassette stored a series of answering machine messages; recordings that Viki and I left for one another while coordinating a Valentine's Weekend 'date' in California (1988).   It's cute. It's a little personal and a bit sappy in spots. Following our logistical bends through time, locations, flight changes, pay-telephones, work demands - even a snowstorm- was amusing.   Nothing could deny us that Valentine weekend rendezvous.

A couple sections on the cassette made me laugh aloud.    The intensity of tender feelings shared comes through the recording and directly hit my heart. No surprise I sobbed at the first few listens.    The tape also captured assorted beeps and tones from old analog phone gear.   They add atmospherics to the playback of the taped voice messages.    A surprise sentimental timepiece.

Spoonbills and precious memories - part of a Holiday Season like no other.